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Group Ground Rules
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No group member shall analyze or interpret the motives of another group member.
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Example: "I think the real reason you yelled is because you had a fight with your friend."
- No group member shall probe into the privacy of another member's life.
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Example: "If your son is so upset about not seeing enough of his father, why can't your husband rearrange his schedule and get home sooner? Couldn't he get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning? What time does he go to bed at night?"
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No group member shall evaluate or pass judgment upon another group member.
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Example: "I don't think you handled that right. You were much too passive.
- Any information learned about group members is to remain confidential.
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It's nobody's business whose child is dating who, failing a class, or beating up his little brother.
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No group member shall give unsolicited advice to another group member.
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Example: "I think if your son doesn't eat his sandwich for lunch, you should put it
in the refrigerator and give it to him again for dinner."
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If a group member asks for advice, you may:
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Share your own experience as an adult (with the realization that what you did with whom might not be right for another parent in your same situation.)
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Example: "I found when I started offering my boss only the work she asked for, I got more complements for doing an excellent job."
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Share Your Own Childhood Memory
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Example: "I remember hating sandwiches. Everyday in school I used to take out the cheese or baloney and throw away the bread."
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Preface Your Suggestion with "How Would You Feel About...?"
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Example: "How would you feel about putting the 'fixings' for her sandwich on the table and letting her make her own?"
Source: "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, And Listen So Kids Will Talk"
Adele Faber and Elain Mazlish, Rawson, Wade Publishers, Inc. New York 1980
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